I’m Going to Reinvent Healthcare by Running My Medical Practice Like a Cruise!

Posted by Mary Pat Whaley Published in Reimbursement

Should I Run My Practice the Way Cruises Run?

I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise and recently I did when I found a great price on the internet. A cruise has always seemed to me to be the ultimate escape - no cell phone, no computer, no deadlines! I was amazed that I could get a wonderful trip (5 days, 4 nights) for an extremely reasonable price. But, as my mama always told me, you get what you pay for.

The cruise was not the ultimate escape. But it was a lesson. A lesson in marketing. And I’ve been thinking that I can apply the techniques I saw used on the cruise to reinvent healthcare and bolster the finances of my orthopedic practice. Here are my ideas (based on the cruise economy):

At every visit, patients will automatically have their pictures taken and will have their choice of backgrounds such as goal posts (athletic injuries) and ski slopes (vacation injuries) as well as seasonal specials (appropriate for Christmas cards, Valentine’s gifts, etc.) When the patient is released, a photo counselor will be available to show the patient all the pictures of the health episode and photo packages will be available for as little as $29.99.
Roving baristas will offer trays of the “health drink of the day” available for $7.50 each, or $4.50 without the souvenir glass.
To make the time go faster while in the waiting room, BINGO will be played, and BINGO cards will be available at a special of “buy 4, get 1 free.” There will be a guaranteed jackpot every single day!
Exam rooms will have exclusive towels with a monogrammed practice logo, available for purchase at the check-out desk ($22.00 for one or $40.00 for two.)
Exam rooms are stocked with soft drinks ($1.95) and bottled water(4.95) for the patient and family member’s convenience.
Comfortable spa robes are provided for patients moving from the exam room to the x-ray suite. Robes that are worn are automatically purchased and charged to patient accounts according to infection control guidelines.
If patients happen to be in the practice during the breakfast, lunch or dinner hour, a menu will be available and meals will be delivered at prices from $5.99 to $15.99 plus tax plus 15% gratuity.
Commemorative x-rays are available in standard ($19.99), framed ($59.99) and autographed by the surgeon ($119.99.)
All patients will be automatically charged tips for the staff at every visit: $1.00 for the front desk, $2.00 for the x-ray technician, and $3.50 for the medical assistant.

Okay, okay, you get the point.

Don’t you?

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